On Thursday of last week I received a call from a friend of mine, name of Liam Kelly, in which he offered me the chance to go to the European film premier of Total Recall in Dublin’s Savoy Cinema on O Connell Street. I, of course, said yes. What followed were two of the most enjoyable and fun filled days I have had in recent memory.
We two country boys made our way to the big smoke by bus and checked into our hostel, Isaacs Hostel possibly on Talbot Street, but to be honest I spent the two days blissfully lost.
We decided to waste a little time walking the streets and seeing the sights which Ireland’s most populous city had to offer until it was closer to the time of the premier.
We saw men standing still as statues wearing masks of various American presidents, I spotted Nixon and Clinton with ease but the others remain a mystery, I saw a man frozen in time, his business attire mid bluster as he attempts to reach a briefcase opened in front of him which he will evidently never reach, I saw a statue of James Joyce, a statue of Molly Malone, I saw junkies, alkies, and criminals, bloodied from an attempted burglary. It was interesting to spot the locals from the tourists, easily done as the locals didn’t even look in the direction of this fracas, they would walk around it as though it were nonexistent, a mental black spot hidden behind a wall called vagrant while the others like me gawked and ogled, some with less decorum than I going so far as to take pictures. Granted, I had no camera.
Surrounded by a crowd larger than those that had been attracted by any of these was a man playing guitar. He played it with the tiniest bit of overdrive applied and used a brass slide with sublime skill to pull in the crowd. While he finished with a flourish, Liam and I decided to sit down and have a roll up while we planned our next move, and see which song the guitar man would play next.
Call it providence, luck, chance or the city taking pity on two unkempt bumpkins, whatever it was we were happy that our decision was made for us, for coming around the already dissipating crowd were two red haired girls in black smocks with eager smiles.
“Hi guys, would ye be interested in a haircut?” said one, her friend quickly interjecting with the magic words “It’s free.”
Well, as you can imagine we jumped to our feet and followed like two puppies promised a bone. My enquiries as to the possibilities of myself and Liam waking up in a tub of ice with our non vital organs harvested was greeted with confused smiles, so I decided to let Liam do the talking on this adventure, that being his talent as such.
The girls brought us to Peter Marks hairdressing college, explaining on the way that they are apprentice hairdressers, one from Kerry the other from Meath and their directive for the day was to practice cutting men’s hair. While Liam pointed out that we are boys and I am balding (thanks again Liam) the ladies were still happy to have two lads to practice their craft on.
We were treated to a shampoo while sat in a massage chair, haircut and style advice from the girls’ tutor, coffee and another shampoo, condition and massage. After such a treatment we felt truly ready to mix shoulders with the stars at the movie premier so we went back to the hostel, got changed into our smart clothes and went to the premier.
After an extended wait caused by the tardiness of the Hollywood stars and Irish celebs we were admitted to the cinema, passing by Brian Ormond and Pippa O Connor plus various media celebs whose names are a mystery to me. When the cinema was full a presenter off TV3 had a short interview with Len Wiseman, the film’s director, and then, at last, they brought out Colin Farrell, Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale. Mr. Farrell was clearly more comfortable in the situation than the two ladies, he cracked a few hilarious jokes which the too eager audience lapped up, while the women where near frighteningly skinny and fairly reserved in their comments.
So followed one hundred and eighteen minutes of action packed, plot holed, sensationalised drivel which I found tedious but watchable. Colin Farrell performed passably this poorly scripted farce.
Exiting the cinema we saw the muscular beauty Glenda Gilson. Suffice to say this put us off the idea of trying to weasel our way into any after show parties for fear that she would flex her eyebrows at us. So skip to two hours later, full of beer and dancing it out in Copper Face Jacks to such classics as “Girls just wanna have fun” and “Livin da vida loca”. There were many people staring at us, I can only assume because they where dazzled by our awesome dance moves and high pitched girlish squeals.
Somehow we found our way home, though how we didn’t get a slap for running around with our tops off waving at our reflections in mirrors I will never know, but make it we did, and sleep was quick to come.
The next day was an equally enjoyable adventure in which we found a wonderful art gallery, better than any I have ever been in, we attempted to wait for Irelands Olympians to return but the music was so badly performed that our already shook bodies were threatened to give up on us unless we vacated the area immediately.
The most enjoyable part of the second day was a chance meeting two lovely American girls, but the details of that are a sweet personal joy that myself and Liam will remember for many years, and I am a greedy little boy who doesn’t want to share what was for me a very pleasant and unique encounter.
So in summation, Dublin is a city of varied people, interesting places and endless possibilities, freebies, junkies, great music and Colin Farrell needs a new agent!