The Imaginary Friend

Eric was spreading butter on toast at his breakfast table.

“What an amazing invention, these transitory tables are!” said Clarence. “They are breakfast tables in the morning, and by the time you have gotten home from work, they are dinner tables!”

“Clarence, you are the height of just to much-ery” said Eric, speaking to the empty chair across the breakfast table.

“Well, Eric, if you think that was bad, then you haven’t been paying enough attention!” said the chair.

“What do you mean?” Eric continued spreading butter on his already buttered toast.

“Well, for one, that toast already has quite enough butter on it. You are not a young man anymore.”

“Thirty is hardly old, Clarence.  Why, its just as old as you are!”

“Its not young either, my friend. My age is not the same, I am kept young by the droves of young ladies that occupy my days.  You, inversely, have not had a lady friend since Jill.”

Eric carefully puts down his toast and his butter knife.

“Well someone had to say it.” muttered Clarence.

“You know very well that that is through no fault of my own.  I have made all the natural moves a body can make to attract another lady.” Eric looked Clarence straight in his green eyes.  Clarence held his gaze.

“Yes, true, you have appeared to look for another, but you know you never will until you banish her from your heart.”

Eric, shocked, had no response.

Clarence hastened to change the subject.

“Whats on the agenda for today, my man?”

Eric paused for a moment, deciding whether to let Clarence’s prying in to his love life slide, or to challenge him. Eventually, he felt that it would do him no good to start what would sure to be a row.

“Well, I’m going to go to work, and after dinner there is an open mic night in that cafe you like.”

Clarence, an avid fan of amateur music, thrilled at this.

“Excellent! Shall we talk to some ladies at that? Will Deirdre be there?”

Eric, shocked again, tried to hide it from his friend by putting a piece of toast in his mouth.  Clarence smiled, staring at Eric’s mouth. Eric looked down at the toast and realised he had put an un-buttered piece in his mouth.

Tearing off a bite, he sighed, resigned to defeat.

“Yes, I saw on Facebook that she will be there.”

“Facebook, Eric, really? You could do much better than spending time on that thing, with a load of imaginary friends.”

The locked eyes for a moment and burst in uproarious laughter.

“Perhaps I am just to much!” laughed Clarence, in his empty chair.

“Just enough, Clarence, just enough for me.”

 

 

This post was promted by Flash Fiction Challenge

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Limerick Writers' Centre

Supporting Literature, Arts and Culture in Limerick since 2008.

NUIG Writers' Society

NUIG's society for exploring each other's writing in a welcoming environment.

The Lacklustre Emporium

The strange ravings of Joshua Kenehan, writer, illustrator, student, madman.

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