Fine

The postman whistled as he walked up the drive of a large, ivy covered house.  The postman truly loved his job, especially on days like today.  The sun was out, lawns throughout the village where freshly cut and small children were playing in the streets.  It was the first good week of weather they had gotten this summer, and everyone was taking advantage of it.

He reached the door of the ivy covered house and put three letters through the letter box.  He fixed the strap on his post bag, and walked back down the drive, whistling as he went, thinking about the time he would spend in his garden after work.

Inside the ivy covered house, a man in a fine silk dressing gown rubbed the sleep from his eyes and picked up the three letters that had just dropped through his letter box.  His name was Philip, and he liked to live his life by routine.  Part of the routine was collecting his post every morning, reading it while drinking coffee, and so he carried the letters through the house and into the the kitchen, where he poured himself a cup of coffee and sat on his favoured stool, with a sigh as the hot coffee awakened his senses.

He began opening the letters.  The first was from his great-aunt who was on the third honeymoon of her fourth marriage.  The second was from the TV company, telling him about a new offer they had coming up, which thanks to his position as a valued customer (he subscribed to the platinum package, the most expensive one available).  The third letter was in a brown envelope.  He hesitated before he opened it.  It looked very official and in his life Philip had found that official things had a way of interrupting his routine.  He drained the last of his coffee and mustered up some courage, opened the letter and read its contents.

It read:

Dear Mr Philip Beecham

You were recorded performing rhinotillexis in a public area, namely, the store front of one Mr. Ibar Shreeve on February 17th.

As you are no doubt aware, rhinotillexis, or to give it its slang name, nose picking, was recently outlawed by our supreme and glorious leader, Kim Jong-Un.

In accordance with this law, you are fined $1000, which you must pay by June 24th.  Payment can be made at your local post office, bank, or financial institution.

Yours Sincerely

Mrs. Gladis Mumford
Justice Department

Philip folded the letter carefully and put it back into the brown envelope.  His hands trembled slightly as he put the envelope on the kitchen table.  Nose-picking, outlawed, really.  Things had gone from bad to worse since the war had ended.  The west had lost of course, something inconceivable to most, but as the determination of the eastern countries overpowered the flabby laziness of the west, it became clear that a power shift was on the way.  Now most of the northern hemisphere fell under the rule of the east, and the whim of Kim Jong-Un, the current supreme leader.

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Limerick Writers' Centre

Supporting Literature, Arts and Culture in Limerick since 2008.

NUIG Writers' Society

NUIG's society for exploring each other's writing in a welcoming environment.

The Lacklustre Emporium

The strange ravings of Joshua Kenehan, writer, illustrator, student, madman.

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